What does the plot add to Mortyr besides confusion? Two
worlds where you can battle Nazis! Mirage paints the past as boring, drab, and
gray. The future is also boring and drab, but sort of greenish. The revising
of history does not cause the world's scientists to forget to invent neon lights, and the
future Nazis put it to good use making glowing swastikas. So the future is depicted
as looking just like the past, only lit like a bad disco. I'm terrified to ever go
into a Polish nightclub. It'll just be cinderblock walls with white noise at 110
decibels.
Story aside, the game still sucks. But what more can I say? It's like
badmouthing the Generals after they lose to the Harlem Globetrotters. Still, I
wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't get a few more specific jabs in:
Some gameplay highlights:
When shooting, you need to aim about 6 inches to the left of most targets. This causes you
to miss even stationary objects.
If you run around enough, you become invisible to the braindead AI, and then it forgets
about you.
Everything is gray and made from cement. I think even the dogs.
When you switch weapons, you have to hit the use key to complete the switch.
You may hear some reviewers say some positive things about Mortyr's 3D engine. Don't
believe them. The engine isn't any good either. It's a rule that they have to say
one nice thing. Terrible AI, bad sound, the worst kind of find-the-key gameplay, the
way the disc's autorun has no idea whether or not you've installed the game - by
themsleves, any of the other elements do a perfectly adequate job of ruining Mortyr.
But the engine makes its own unique contribution to the appalling proceedings by
being incapable of maintaining a consistent framerate. The engine splits its time
between making the game move way too fast and making it move way too slow, switching gears
every few steps. The renderer does display one thing well: highly polished
floors. So if you're a janitor or something and an expertly buffed floor does it for you,
you may wring some enjoyment out of Mortyr. I'm kidding - janitors will hate it too.
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Click on images for large view
This is as close as I came to killing Hitler.
One of my made-up plots:
I am avenging this cut on my hand.
Hey fellas,
don't forget to try to kill me.
The classic Nazi "Three keys needed" door.
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